Here’s a listing of some of the events I entered in 2010 and 2011.
The Pan American Coaster Tossing Championship
Finish: Made it to the second round
Finish: I completed the challenge
Finish: 3:37:21 (202nd out of 1,052 racers)
Finish: A miserable failure
The News & Observer’s Ugly Sweater Contest
Finish: Runner-up
Finish: 1:49.53 (284 of 879 males)
Finish: 2,083 of 5,111
Bailey Farms Chile Pepper Eating Contest
Finish: I never stood a chance against the Toothless Pepper King
Pennsylvania Qualifying Stone Skipping Tournament
Finish: Did not place in the amateur division with a measly 15 skips
Finish: I’m the Last Ass
National Egg Toss Championship
Finish: National Champion!
42nd Annual National Hollerin’ Contest
Finish: I did not place, but I gained something more valuable. Read the post to learn more.
Finish: Team idiotapong technically was the last team to cross the finish line, but we won the Oscar the Grouch award for picking up the most trash along the route.
Finish: 774 of more than 4,000
Big Boss Brewing Company’s Potato Decorating Contest
Finish: Did not place
Finish: I finished. That’s all that really matters.
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