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I now present the ultimate act of doughnut juxtaposition: a stack of a dozen doughnuts next to a paltry stack of a dozen Cheerios. Poor things don’t stand a chance in the shadow of all that sugary goodness.

In other news, I’ll be taking this project in a new direction starting tomorrow.

If ever there were a day to pig out on 2,280 calories of doughnuts and a spoonful of black beans, today might be the day.

However, after my 10-mile run, I think I’ll find a more well-rounded place to replace the 1,633 calories I burned.

 

Day 4 brings us a battle between doughnuts and blackberries. Now that I look at this picture again, I’m thinking a blackberry doughnut might be quite delicious…

 

Today, as promised, I present to you a truly great battle: doughnuts vs. Pop Tarts. (Although, I must admit, those are Pop Tart impostors. They’re actually Harris Teeter’s Frosted Strawberry Toaster Pastries).

It’s clear to see that the doughnuts make a bulkier tower. However, the Pop Tart Tower tips the calorie scale at 2,400. That’s 120 more calories than the doughnuts.

According to the packaging, however, the Pop Tarts “provide 7 vitamins & minerals.” If you eat every single one of them, you’ll get 120% of your daily supply of iron. I wouldn’t want my iron any other way.

 

 

We’re one day closer to the Krispy Kreme Challenge, which means it’s time to compare a dozen doughnuts to a dozen corn flakes. More specifically, a dozen flakes of Special K Protein Plus.

Again, I lack the mathematical skills and attention span to calculate the caloric content of 12 corn flakes, but I can tell you that you’d have to eat about 2 boxes of Special K (not including milk) to equal the 2,280 calories in a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

Coming tomorrow: Pop Tarts.

 

It occurred to me today that the Krispy Kreme Challenge is just a dozen days away. To countdown the days, I’ll be posting daily pictures comparing a dozen doughnuts to a dozen pieces of other breakfast food. Unfortunately, I ran out of typical breakfast foods during my photo shoot, so you may end up seeing dog biscuits on Day 9.

Today, we have a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts vs. 12 pieces of Old Fashioned Quaker Oats. If you zoom in and cross your eyes, you might actually be able to see those oats in the shadow of that doughnut tower.

I’m not good enough at math to figure out the caloric value of 12 pieces of oats, but you can bet it’s nowhere near the 2,280 calories in the doughnuts.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, no, I didn’t eat all those doughnuts.

Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

The only thing more idiotic than participating in the Krispy Kreme Challenge might be training for it. Check out this video to see our first training attempt.

What you won’t see is footage of me later that day during a massive 2-hour sugar crash nap.

 

 

 

 

While I have yet to settle on an event for December, today I locked down my registration for two important events in 2011. I’ll be running in the Krispy Kreme Challenge on Feb. 5 and the Tobacco Road Marathon on March 20.

Considering that I’ve never run a marathon, one might imagine that I’d be more nervous about that.

I’m not.

That’s because I’ll be training for the Krispy Kreme Challenge—a contest that challenges runners to scarf down a dozen doughnuts midway through a 4-mile race and finish in less than 1 hour—with my good friend and co-national egg tossing champion Mike Hepp. And Mike, as he told me earlier today, is “in it to win it.”

“I’ve been running 6 miles at an 8-minute per mile pace,” Mike said. “And I’ve always been good at eating. This race was made for me.”

That’s right. Even though last year’s winner finished in 30:20, Mike is convinced that he can be competitive. And when your co-national egg tossing champion thinks he can be competitive in anything, you must follow suit. It’s a rule.

Here’s why this troubles me. Before today, I always imagined that I’d only attempt this foolish challenge once in my lifetime. Perhaps it’s because I recently recovered from a nasty bout of food poisoning and would rather not vomit again anytime in the foreseeable future. Or maybe it’s because I technically retired from the competitive eating circuit after my experience in a hot pepper eating contest this September. Or maybe it’s because I’ve never been able to shake this passage from a 2009 ESPN.com story about the challenge by Greg Garber:

Over the years, I’ve run a number of races, from the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon to various open-water swims to crazy events up mountains and through the woods. But never have I felt like there was a two-pound bass thrashing around in my stomach, trying to get out.

Garber, of course, was describing the feeling of 2,400-calories worth of doughnuts sloshing around his gut during the final 2 miles. Honestly, I don’t see any reason to replicate this feeling more than once. Sure, I’d like to train for the race. But I was thinking that a training run (no, more like a training jog) with a snack of six doughnuts would suffice.

Not Mike.

Today he told me that he’s willing to recreate the race before the actual race.

This Sunday.

I just hope he’s buying the doughnuts. And cleaning up whatever mess we leave behind.

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