IDAHO SPRINGS, Co.–Less than a month ago, I won a national championship.
Today, I’m the Last Ass.
I wish this new title, in some sort of ass-backwards way, is somehow cooler than it sounds. It’s not. I finished in last place in the Idaho Springs Pack Burro Race. Technically, I was the last male runner to finish, a full 10 minutes ahead of my female Last Ass equivalent. Not that I’m bragging about that.
I might have had a better chance of winning if my burro, Firecracker, had lived up to his name. Instead, my hungry ass was more inclined to clear the 4-mile course of weeds. It also might have helped if Firecracker and I could have trained for more than 1 day. My national championship in egg tossing, after all, wasn’t the result of a mere hour of practice.
Last Ass or not, this has been an amazing weekend. I’ll post a more-detailed report, along with video, sometime soon.
For now, my ass needs some rest.
anyonecanenter.com 
5 comments
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July 18, 2010 at 7:51 PM
Uncle Rob
Yet another case of Blamin’ the Burro. I’m a little disappointed in you, Jon. Firecracker clearly did his best, leaving it all out there on the course. I mean, check out the donkey biscuits in that picture. Ya gotta man up, nephew, and accept the fact that you’re not going to win every event you enter. One national championship and then when you lose, you’re all, like, well, it was my ass’s fault.
P.S. I am so going to miss being able to work the word ass into every
comment I write. Please tell me you’re going to make this thing in
Colorado an annual event.
July 19, 2010 at 11:06 AM
penn
Dude get me some video. Stat. You don’t have to edit it. I’ll chop it up.
July 19, 2010 at 12:35 PM
PaigeT
Unfortunately we can’t read the burro’s blog about how you were the worst ass support of the event… 🙂
I vote for more events that involve animals…maybe a chicken corral race or hog racing???
July 19, 2010 at 1:38 PM
pumpkin
These pre/post race posts are making me LMAO. 😉 😉 😉
July 19, 2010 at 11:18 PM
Bethany
Jon- you were awesome! It doesn’t matter that you were the last ass – we were all so proud and honored that you came all the way out to run with us! Please come back soon and play with our asses. 🙂 Maybe next time Bill will give you one of his faster donkeys!