My first Idiotarod is still a few days away, so I’m hardly capable of calling myself an expert in the world of shopping cart decorating/community service racing.

But I can already tell you not to be fooled by the event’s self-deprecating name. Whether you’re my Uncle Rob, who purposely misspells it Idiotatard, or a disgruntled hipster hater, you can’t argue that there’s nothing idiotic about non-court-ordered community service. Or some of the ideas competitors dream up for their carts. This spirit of imagination, however, sets a difficult precedent to overcome.

While brainstorming ideas on how to decorate our cart, I kept cranking out previously thought-up executions. Secret Service members escorting the President? Already been done. A cart made to look like a fighter pilot with a team of Top Gun pilots? Already been done better than anyone will ever possibly do again. Somebody had even done the Smurfs!

Sure, none of these ideas were used in the Asheville Idiotarod, so far as I can tell, but using one of these previously used ideas would just feel plain cheap.

After several exhausting all-night brainstorm sessions (this isn’t necessarily true), I’m confident that we have a completely original Idiotarod theme. At least, Google thinks so. A search for our unnamed theme and Idiotarod yields no relevant results. That practically makes it one of a kind.

So while our idea is still un-Google-able, I must apologize for keeping our idea a secret until this weekend, at which point I promise to post pictures.

Even better, I promise that I will look like an idiot. Isn’t that the whole point?