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As I mentioned on Day 1, I only had about 5 breakfast foods at home the night I started this project. As a result, I eventually took some pictures of doughnuts compared to non-breakfast foods.
Like dog food.
So I went to the grocery store Saturday morning and stocked up on some more traditional human staples. Since all these doughnuts will be going in my gut, I figured my stomach should be the backdrop for this next set of comparisons.
The first breakfast item to land in my gut was turkey bacon. Believe it or not, 12 strips of turkey bacon only amount to 420 calories. That’s 1,860 less than a dozen doughnuts. So there you have it, go eat some bacon.
If ever there were a day to pig out on 2,280 calories of doughnuts and a spoonful of black beans, today might be the day.
However, after my 10-mile run, I think I’ll find a more well-rounded place to replace the 1,633 calories I burned.
Today, as promised, I present to you a truly great battle: doughnuts vs. Pop Tarts. (Although, I must admit, those are Pop Tart impostors. They’re actually Harris Teeter’s Frosted Strawberry Toaster Pastries).
It’s clear to see that the doughnuts make a bulkier tower. However, the Pop Tart Tower tips the calorie scale at 2,400. That’s 120 more calories than the doughnuts.
According to the packaging, however, the Pop Tarts “provide 7 vitamins & minerals.” If you eat every single one of them, you’ll get 120% of your daily supply of iron. I wouldn’t want my iron any other way.
We’re one day closer to the Krispy Kreme Challenge, which means it’s time to compare a dozen doughnuts to a dozen corn flakes. More specifically, a dozen flakes of Special K Protein Plus.
Again, I lack the mathematical skills and attention span to calculate the caloric content of 12 corn flakes, but I can tell you that you’d have to eat about 2 boxes of Special K (not including milk) to equal the 2,280 calories in a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Coming tomorrow: Pop Tarts.
It occurred to me today that the Krispy Kreme Challenge is just a dozen days away. To countdown the days, I’ll be posting daily pictures comparing a dozen doughnuts to a dozen pieces of other breakfast food. Unfortunately, I ran out of typical breakfast foods during my photo shoot, so you may end up seeing dog biscuits on Day 9.
Today, we have a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts vs. 12 pieces of Old Fashioned Quaker Oats. If you zoom in and cross your eyes, you might actually be able to see those oats in the shadow of that doughnut tower.
I’m not good enough at math to figure out the caloric value of 12 pieces of oats, but you can bet it’s nowhere near the 2,280 calories in the doughnuts.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, no, I didn’t eat all those doughnuts.
For the second time in the span of a month, I have officially lost an ugly sweater contest.
Thanks again to all of you who voted. For those that didn’t, don’t worry. I doubt your vote would have helped. The winner collected a whopping 273 votes to my 124.
Now that the contest is over and the winner’s full name has been revealed, I’m hoping she will agree to speak with me for a Q&A. With any luck, she’s reading this now. And is probably starting to think I’m crazy. She’s probably right.
Nevertheless, I’m honored to own the second ugliest sweater in the Triangle.
Thanks to all of you who have voted for my Grinch sweater in the News & Observer’s Ugly Sweater Contest. Unfortunately, I’m currently in a distant second place and the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina’s chances of winning the prize (a $50 Visa gift card) are dwindling.
I’m trailing Jessica and her Beer Carrying Christmas Sweater 162-91. Oh, wait. It just went up to 169-91.
While her sweater is perfectly fine, I smell something rotten. Despite the fact that I’ve told nearly everyone I know about the contest via this blog, Facebook, Twitter, and both my personal and work e-mail accounts, I’m still getting smoked. Even when my votes go up by 5, hers immediately soar by 10. I find it hard to believe that someone has convinced that many people – in such a short time span – to register for the site, thereby giving the N&O their address, phone number, e-mail, and firstborn. It’s almost like she’s voting for herself, which I’m told is possible if you log out of the site and restart your browser.
It’s so frustrating that I briefly flirted with a co-worker’s offer to help rig the contest. With an hour of his time tonight, he said, he could guarantee me a victory. And he wasn’t joking.
I knew this wasn’t a good idea, but I couldn’t help telling a few friends and Carie. All of them agreed that it wasn’t worth it. Especially Carie.
“Jon,” Carie said, collecting her thoughts. “I love you. … But – I think. Well. … It’s just that, sometimes, I think you start to take this stuff too seriously. Is this silly contest really worth an hour of your friend’s time? Is it worth cheating? Is it really that important?”
“I know. It’s just that I told people at work that I might be the Ugly Sweater King of the Triangle. I could be a king, Carie. A king.”
But in the end, I’d rather be an honorable dunce than a cheating king, so I refuse to rig the contest. Plus, Jessica might just be winning this contest fair and square.
Either way, maybe you should go vote for me. A few hundred times.
Ladies and gentlemen, the polls have opened for the News & Observer’s Ugly Sweater Contest. There are some truly ugly entries, but there’s only one clear choice. Here’s why.
If my Grinch sweater is the winner, I will donate the prize (a $50 Visa gift card) to the Food Bank of Central & Eastern North Carolina.
Before you can vote, you must register as a user on the N&O’s site. I realize this might seem like a inconvenience, but think about it: two minutes of your time could benefit a worthy charity. So please, register and vote now!
Here’s how it works.
2. Check your e-mail and confirm your registration.
3. Go here, log in, ignore the other sweaters, and vote for me! My entry is titled, “You’re an ugly one, Mr. Grinch.” It’s on the bottom right.
And if you’d like to give three minutes of your time, please, by all means, spread the news about this contest via word of mouth, e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, bullhorn, etc. However you spread the news, spread it fast. The polls close on Thursday (supposedly).